Stress Management

Authored by Rebecca Biggar, LISW, MSW, Upper School Counselor and Director for the Center of Leadership and Well-Being.

Families are all experiencing moments of discomfort and uncertainty during Coronavirus. There is no right or wrong way to act during this time and I feel proud to be part of our resilient #HBatHome community. I hope the following strategies and practices help families manage stress and anxiety, thrive, and build resilience during such a unique time:

• Role model
• Validate feelings
• Manage technology
• Routine and structure 
• Focus on what you can control 
• Find something good 
• Practice deep breathing and mindfulness

Role Model

Children and teens are very perceptive and can sense their parents’ stress and discomfort. Remember this saying — you can’t serve from an empty vessel. Ground yourself as the parents and make self-care a priority. By taking time to relax and restore yourself, whether it’s going for a walk or knitting, you are modeling the importance of self-care and self-love for your daughter.

Validate Feelings

At least once a day, ask your child how they are feeling. You can even ask them to use an emoji to describe their emotions. Ask, acknowledge, listen, and validate their hard feelings.

As adults, we all want to fix things for our children and teens, but instead, respond with empathy telling them that their feelings are valid, and you support them.

Resource: “First Aid for Feelings…” workbook from the Yale Child Study Center and Scholastic.

Manage Technology In a Meaningful Way

News at our fingertips can increase fear and helplessness which leads to worry and anxiety. To decrease rumination, set healthy limits and boundaries on how your family consumes media and information.

With social distancing measures in place, technology is more important than ever for connection and belonging. But make your tech time meaningful. Are you Zoom-ing with a friend to talk or are you mindlessly scrolling? Assess how you feel when you spend time on technology. This will help you be more purposeful.

Routine and Structure

Life is unpredictable during a pandemic. I may sound like a broken record but for anxious kids, instilling a consistent routine and structure helps ease stress, minimize unnecessary decision-making, and provides a sense of stability and security. Check out my last blog post on setting a routine.

Focus on What You Can Control

We become anxious when we perceive a threat that we don’t feel capable of handling. With Coronavirus, there are many unknowns, which is hard to process. 

If your child is focusing on the "what-ifs” and dooms-day scenarios, take a step back and help them identify the facts. It is helpful to identify both what is in and out of their control. Verbalizing these things can feel empowering and help a child release things out of their control. 

Find Something Good 

Help your child identify and celebrate the small victories of the day. This provides a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Additionally, practicing gratitude shifts perspective and builds resilience. Create a gratitude jar for your family and have each person write down one thing they are feeling grateful for or one small victory of the day. 

Practice Deep Breathing and Mindfulness

Deep breathing helps minimize our body’s natural fight, flight, or freeze stress response. Check out my past blog post for resources to get grounded in the present moment with mindfulness activities such as engaging in your five senses, body scan meditation, or creating glitter jars.  

Hathaway Brown's counseling staff is available to support your family. Don’t hesitate to reach out for social-emotional support for your child and family. We are in this together!