Choosing the Right Fit

Authored by Britt Freitag, associate director of college counseling. She earned her Bachelor of Arts in Theatre with a minor in Studio Art from Hamilton College.

Director of College Counseling Margaret Appenheimer and I were musing on our own college choices. It’s a game that many people in our line of work like to play; that day, our conversation centered around the question, “if you were the person you are now when you were seventeen, would a different college have been a better fit?” Immediately I thought of The University of Edinburgh, in Scotland. If, at the age of 36, I was given the opportunity to pursue an undergraduate degree anywhere in the world - that’s where I’d go. My soul feels at home in the ancient but modern city. I also like that the University is big (about 25K undergraduates) and that it’d be a quick flight - or train ride - to all sorts of gorgeous locations that I could travel to on the weekends and school holidays. 

But the point is, I wasn’t the same person when I was 17. 

By my own assessment, (admittedly a flawed metric but still necessary for the purpose of the thought experiment), I’m much more adventurous than I was as a senior in high school. I love cities now - they used to overwhelm and exhaust me. I’m less contrarian now than I was as a young adult, and I love to meet new people and engage in conversations with strangers; I talk a lot. I’m coachable and I’m pretty comfortable with myself. I know who I am. 

In Contrast

In contrast, my high school self cared an awful lot about what people thought of her. She got freaked out on mass transit - and usually misread the maps, getting hopelessly lost. I was stubborn. I was absolutely sure I was going to be either an archaeologist or a forensic anthropologist (I ended up majoring in theater and becoming a college counselor). 

If I had gone to the University of Edinburgh at that time, which not only requires students to know what they want to study but also to teach themselves course material (because there are ⅓ fewer lecture hours when compared to American institutions) and where housing isn’t guaranteed - even for international students - I would have had a meltdown. I wouldn’t have graduated - I doubt I would have even made it to my sophomore year. 

Instead, as a young adult, I fell in love with a cozy liberal arts college in “the middle of nowhere” - a location that most of my students object to. However, I’d like to go on record at this point to say that “nowhere” has its distinct charms… In Clinton, NY for instance, the Cider Mill makes the most delicious cider donuts, pie, and cider you’ll ever consume (and, they ship!). I tried Indian food for the first time in upstate NY, and Clinton Pottery still makes the most incredible ceramics I’ve seen in real life. 

In college, I learned who I was and found my people. I forged relationships with professors who genuinely cared about me, and found some real confidence. I also got to take the most amazing classes and received a world-class education. The personal and academic development that I was lucky enough to have as a college student made me into the person I am today - a woman who can handle herself in nearly any situation. And who loves to learn. 

The only thing that’s permanent, is change

At HB, we work with students on their college essays. As part of that work, students share their responses to writing exercises. A particularly sage member of the Class of 2023 shared that the most valuable lesson she’s learned so far is that, “The only thing that’s permanent, is change.” Isn’t that the truth? Nothing quite persists like the temporary.  Maybe it’s the effect of COVID-19, but the past, present, and future seem more marbled than ever before. 

I laugh to myself when kids come back from touring colleges and I learn, through their visits, how perceptions of schools can change so much in a short amount of time (the same is true for admissions stats, by the way. Anything older than 2-3 cycles is basically useless). For instance, it’s funny to hear my alma mater described as “artsy” by HB girls. When I went there it was notoriously “preppy,” but kids change, so colleges change. 

Then I think of HB - and how as an institution we’re also the same, but different, each year. It seems to me that’s what the healthiest institutions do — they adapt, change, and evolve with the world and that’s how they remain relevant and useful. 

I also know that my students are going to change - not only over the course of their college careers, but even throughout the 18 months we work together on their college process. What I think HB college counselors do incredibly well is that we meet the students where they’re at - right now, knowing that their paths will unlikely be straightforward. And in fact, that’s normal. It’s healthy.

Looking back, college was the only time I was given carte blanche permission to be selfish - to focus solely on myself, my learning, and my interests. So, my wish for my students is that they love their college experience as much as I did - that it’s the right fit for them, as mine was for me.